Skip to main content


Life isn’t easy. You have to learn if you want to survive. Here are 20 things I learned from my 20s.


  1. Trust your instincts. If someone or a situation makes you uncomfortable, then leave. Don’t listen to the voices who say you have to lower your standards or accept what is pushed on you. You have intuition for a reason. Act on it. The future you will thank you.
  2. Honesty is everything. If someone can’t be honest with you, don’t waste your time with their lies, even if they tell you “I love you” to make up for it. Don’t spend your nights wondering if that was a lie too. And most importantly, be honest with yourself.
  3. You are worthy. You have everything it takes to have a full and wonderful life. Don’t let people convince you can’t have what you work and pray for.
  4. Don’t depend on a timeline. Timing is different for everyone. If something doesn’t happen when you want it to or it happens too soon, accept it as a sign and a blessing, no matter how much it may hurt. Not everyone’s story is the same, and that is a good thing.
  5. Take time to heal. Healing is an important part of life. Don’t skip it. Use it as a time of reflection and honesty. Healing isn’t meant to hold you back but to show you how to come back stronger physically, emotionally, mentally, or spiritually.
  6. Good friends are better than gold. Good friends are rare. Treasure them. Tell them how valuable they are to you, and try to be as good or better of a friend to them as they are to you.
  7. Be wise when you forgive. Forgiving someone doesn’t mean you have to reconcile the relationship. Sometimes forgiveness is for your own mental peace, not theirs. Forgiving someone doesn’t mean they will change; it means you can move on and heal.
  8. Have fun. Do what you enjoy. Don’t let the pressures of life keep you from living your life.
  9. Your time is valuable. Don’t let anyone steal your time. Thieves don’t thank you for what they steal from you.
  10. Stay open. If you can’t be open to people, stay open to God. Stay open to nature. Stay open to literature. Stay open to art. Stay open to the truth. Stay open to love. Stay open to healing.
  11. Failure is an event, not a person. Make failure a lesson, not a life sentence.
  12. Manage your pain. Some pain doesn’t go away. You have to learn to manage it, redirect it, and use it for something good. Pain is a good teacher, but if it goes unmanaged, it can become a wildfire that will burn you down as well as everyone around you.
  13. Invest in yourself. Invest in your finances. Invest in your relationships. Invest in your dreams. Invest in your future.
  14. Get rid of the weeds. Your life is a garden. Work with what you have. Plant what you need. Prune, water, fertilize, put yourself in the light, and—for God’s sake—pull out the weeds. Even if they keep growing back, pull them out.
  15. Love really is the answer. If you need answers, turn to love. Love never lies.
  16. Drink water. Have a headache? Drink water. Hanging with your friends? Drink water. Been crying all night? Drink water. Just woke up? Drink water. About to go to bed? Drink water. Thirsty? Drink water.
  17. Read. Read as much as you can and as often as you can. It will educate you and make you more empathic toward others and the world.
  18. Marvel at yourself. Take time to appreciate all the things you’ve done right. Marvel at all that you’ve overcome and all the ways you’ve improved yourself and the world. Appreciate what you do have instead of what you don’t. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so behold yourself as beautiful.
  19. Allow things to end. Endings can be a good and healthy event for your life. Whether it’s with a job, relationship, or habit, endings give room for new beginnings. Don’t be afraid of endings. Take what you’ve learned, grieve if its needed, and start again. You deserve to be free. Don’t hold on to things that aren’t for you. Let them end.
  20. Trust God. This has been the hardest lesson I’ve learned in my 20s. Now that I am 30, however, I’ve never regretted trusting God. He is good. He is trustworthy. He is love. He does care. You can trust Him.


Deborah Jean Hall

Author Deborah Jean Hall

More posts by Deborah Jean Hall

Leave a Reply